To interact with the dude, you need to understand the dude.. but then no one really understands the dude. And i mean No one gets to know the dude beyond the point of intersection of the knowledge and power curve. Both knowledge and power are at the maximum for the dude.
Now You may want counselling from the dude, so you will have to meet him. This message is for you mortals to understand what to do and what not to do. If you do the what not to do then you will be done for by the Dude and the dudes followers.
Rule 1: Always refer to the Dude as the Dude.
This rule has to be followed if you ever want to get the attention of the Dude, else go talk to some low grade consultant or Fuck Off.
Rule 2: The Dude is never lazy, he is either interested or uninterested.
So don't crib about the level of the Dude's commitment to your project.
Rule 3: The Dude hates people bullshitting.
Absolutely NO GAS!
Rule 4: The Dude has no competitor or rivals.
If you disagree, then you can apply for Dude's Side Kick Position. If the Dude is interested, he will get back to you.
Rule 5: If the Dude tells you that you suck, then you shall accept the status without doubting its veracity.
Rule 6: The Dude is always right. Yes Always!!!
Rule 7: If the Dude says a guy is alright, then all the Dude's followers and want to be followers shall ackowledge him.
These endorsements shall be called the Dudelings..
Rule 8: The Dude movie is The Big Lebowski. All the Dude's army of followers shall watch it twice every month.
Rule 9: The Dude was not moved by Broke Back Mountain.
Infact The Dude never watched it.
Rule 10: Oprah Winfrey, Jay Leno, Russell Peters, R.C.N, Neo, Richard Branson, Mahatma Gandhi, Terminator and E.T. are not to be confused with the Dude.
Now if you follow all the above rules, you may get to know a bit about the Dude. But as mentioned earlier, you shall never know the Dude completely. The Dude is the ultimate solution to mankinds problems. But the Dude reserves his rights when it comes to deciding who fits into mankind and who doesnt. Chances are ... You Don't!!!
