Deja Vu

I started this bit of incessant rambling when I was sitting jobless in the small speck of a place in Karnataka known as Manipal. I made my first comprehensive trip around manipal since the old days last weekend when I roamed all the way upto kundapur and back to mangalore. The similarities with 2 years back or so were, we still had to count our wallets ( my comrade's more often than not if ever) for the cash we had, we had forgotten to adjust for the inflation anyways...!!
But I guess, its kind of surprising that for a place that has been touted as a place that will never change from its student friendly party zone, there are some worrying changes in the back ground...!! More like the beginning of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings... when the dark clouds are just beginning to gather at Mordor while everyone's happy in the far off and insulated Shire... Everyone knows what happened next... and the turmoil that followed for the hobbits and the shire..!
This worrying trend of communalism was present in India since God knows when... but the present trends are worrying as it seems the Godhra incidents werent a one off.. but a part of the big plan or the bigger picture...
What offends me more is the presumed peace in states like Kerala where there is a worrying lack of acknowledgement of other religions and their beliefs at certain influential levels...We preach bigotry at a lot of levels... which is a very sad trend... possibly the only saving grace for my state is the insane amounts of consumption and the penetration in high literacy throughout the state... but even then.... this is nothing to be relieved about...
At the end of the day, our job is to die ... we can try to control our lives or actions but we can never really control the nature and time of our death except in very small margins... so why do we waste time dividing people, harassing innocents, forcing views etc on the majority of the people....
Why is the Indian government ready to stand by and let these RSS or Bajrang Dal activists get away with these atrocities against mankind? Are they too far away from the Nazis who inculcated hate into their doctrines and managed to ensure the genocide of the Jews? Is being a Christian or a Muslim a direct threat to Hinduism? or Vice Versa? or in any combination depending on the state and the locale?
When the government backs such moments or even a lack of action can be construed as support in the right plaecs... then what hope do we have apart from the educated ones among us? If that last statement is meant to instill hope... its not... its a sadder fact that the educated ones among us are not exactly averse to such ideologies and hence we are in a precarious position with respect to life in India with respect to tolerance to minorities...

All said and done... I am still Indian... and proud to be one...
Lets just hope people get wise and see the futility in creating such divides just to attain power.... We do not want to be labelled as the Germany of the 21st century I guess....

The Pain Is Me!

If I look back through time... There's been a lot of good... which is equally countered by the pain endured... And I am beginning to feel... all the pain I endure is related to the all the pain I try to take away from the world... The world may disagree or think my pain is inconsequential... but then am not saying mine is comparable to the rest of the world or even a fraction of anybody else's pain.. All I'm saying is I'm hurt and I'm in pain...
There are two major types of pain... One that affects you physically that will take time to heal and probably may take you along with it depending on the level of it you are dealing with... that is something that is out of our hands...
I am feeling a pain which is something different.... it is the one that is within you... the kind of pain that eats you up from the inside.. mercilessly grinds your brain and mind... This pain.. its an emotional stroke.. You feel it consuming you without any care as to whether you can handle it.. This is the kind of pain that is generally dumped on people by either fate or by their own actions... or a mix of both!!
One common such pain is.. Heartbreak... its obviously a mix of both.. or Loss of a dear one... thats more fate plus in some cases actions on the dear one's part... if you look at it everything painful is related to human action....
The closer you hold someone the more painful it becomes when you have to let go.... Not letting go... is again painful.... This is a lesson I am beginning to learn very well in this phase of my life...
The lesson is only I can let someone hurt me and I know I feel the pain in ample amounts when such an action occurs..!!!
The pain is definitely me... or shall I say I am My Pain!

Ghost-Writer

Finally.... I have an experience as a ghost writer... No. I am not a renegade trying to escape Hell's long claws by appearing in a masked wierd outfit with a burning Parker pen writing fiery stuff that will protect lesser mortals.... no ... I am not even like the multitude of dudes and dudettes who used the Franklin W. Dixon avatar to write a bunch of books called Hardy Boys which though cool back then ... makes me realize how lame we can be as kids to read such awful crap... Enid Blyton atleast had some Imagination... But I digress... Yes, I am more like the guy in college who writes the assignment for his group in a B School.... A B-Grade Ghostwriter...
That is exactly what I am...
The unfortunate person who stumbles onto this piece of idiotic cyber abuse would be thinking that it would have been better of if my Ghostwriting was only visible to the invisible ones... hmmm... Hey hang on... Aren't ghosts invisible? All the people who talk bout Ghosts have claimed to see them... hmmm ... wierd... Ideologically I am okay with a ghost being visible or invisible.. I do not believe in being Racist even to stuff that does not belong here.. Am okay with them... Again.. I digress... Where was I? hmm...
Yeah so why did I blabber all that bull... Ha.. Got it... Its cause even though the normal person would be tormented for generations reading my work... The person for whom I did it... was waxing lyrical about the quality... How the person would have loved to do it but cannot... (cause obviously the person has a lot of dignity and self respect to protect before stooping to the level of the B-Grade Ghostwriter)...
Freud would have lost out dissecting this wierd bit of psychological behaviour... Aleister Crowley may have had a better explanation courtesy the pentagram being sharp... but me... am not even a paperback writer .. Am keeping myself in place as an identity less B-Grade Ghostwriter...
Lennon could have made a song of that... But Alas.... 

Ecstasy of Gold

Over 10 years ago ... I heard this theme being played just before four bad ass dudes appeared on stage blasting some loud powerful music at a ferocious tempo to a multitude of people going bonkers.... That was Metallica live in Moscow... My initiation to the fact that Metallica is the biggest metal band on Earth and that guitars could sound 'heavy' ...

In less than 10 days I get to witness this heavenly spectacle live.. no DVD, not on youtube... but in front of my own eyes... They may not be the force of nature they were some 20 odd years ago... but there is no denying the magnitude of their stage shows and their effect on the whole music industry and music lovers alike..

The atmosphere will be electric... the noise phenomenal... this is turning into the most eagerly anticipated day in my life... and best part is its not about just watching the four horsemen live... But I realize its my musical journey coming to the close of a perfect circle....perfect harmony....

Like Phil Collins sang... I can feel it ....Coming In the air...... 

Get Up.... Get Going...

Ever thought why the world goes around? Ever wished you could turn and run the other way? Why is time so elastic that we cannot bend it backwards? Why do we ever have to move on?
How can we be part of a grand plan if we cannot fulfill our own plans? Is it worth the big picture if our small pictures never get framed? Why do people plan for the future when hardly anyone gets the future he/she planned for?
Did we get conned into believing the word 'reason'? Does anything really happen for a reason? Or do things just happen because the world keeps moving when people like me don't want to move in that direction?

Muffin Monster Sundaes

The Muffin Monster unlike the other ones.... works on Sundays.... According to it ... the Almighty rests on Sunday ... hence protection available to victims on Sundays would be the least.... For a monster, the Muffin Monster has some amazing Kotler-esque Welch oriented Bransoniacal mindset... wouldn't look out of place in Kellogs or Harvard.... or even Hogwarts methinks.... 

But how can one work on a Sunday... everything about the Sun Day says no work... Who wants to work in the sun anyways? But the Muffin Monster is a paradox to all assumptions that are created on the necessity of survival by the same idiot who invented the tooth brush to condemn millions of people to rubbing their teeth twice daily with a bunch of thistles attached to a stick.... That was one person who could have been prevented by a thin sheath of latex.... :( 

Lifes great mysteries... But what about this Muffin Monster? Will Sundays become a think of the past?? Will it influence Saturday night parties too?? 

The Tsunami is coming....................................

The Great Escape

No this is not about the WW 2 Book..... No this is not about the movie... the cooler king Hilts nearly making that jump ..... actually it is something about it.... something about that jump.... which we all strive to make.. but we are always unable to.. the barbed wire keeps us in check... if you know what I mean... most of us do not bothering jumping and the ones who do lack conviction.... the latter may sound better than the first option but getting stuck in the barbed wire is not that great an experience....
This is about me... I plan to make the great escape.. I have failed... many times... I have strived many times to get beyond the barbed wire which in my case stands for the perceptions of a vague society which does not believe in itself or its own kind......
I have tried to get along in this world... I am not perfect.... I am arrogant... I am not good... I am selfish.... I am not rational... I am uncouth.... But whatever I am... I don't see myself fit into the grand plan of things happening around me....
I do not want all the money, I do not want all the women, I do not want all the drugs... I do not want anything at all from any of you around me... I do not even beg for your company... but the least you can offer me is your honesty....
No one is perfect because of one thing.... the perceptions imposed upon us by whomsoever we let dominate our thinking.... if that is going to be the case for all of us ... then why do we have the ability to think ... as we are not using it...we are unable to see beyond what we have been told.. we are unworthy of such a power....

We should just be happy we are all mundane elements without the ability to move or act....

Hence... I plan my Great Escape... I do not care about making a difference... But I can atleast show the mundane elements around me that there's more to life than their vague perceptions....

God be with you all.... Cause you sure as hell cant help yourselves...!!